Being hit on and its affect on self-esteem.


For a girl who is in a stable relationship with a great boyfriend, I get hit on a lot. I’m not particularly pretty or anything- it’s mostly because I work at a restaurant and I’m willing to talk to people I don’t know, yet the conversations with guys always seem to end with a “Can I have your number?” or “Do you have a boyfriend?” However this is a very new phenomenon for me (as in, before working at Ocean Buffet this NEVER HAPPENED TO ME), and I’m discovering what it does to one’s self-esteem.

When I get hit on by a creep, I laugh it off but feel a little skeezier for it. Like, I literally feel kind of gross afterwards. So, I tend to avoid all future contact with the creep in question. (Like today when two skater rats came out of the Pawnshop downtown and creeped hard by looking through the back window of my car and hollering at me.)

When I get hit on by an old man, I just feel awkward and feel bad for the poor guy. I generally turn them down nicely, but continue talking to them when they come in, because all they’re really looking for is someone to interact with.

But when I get hit on by someone who is actually young, normal, and attractive? Good god. My self-esteem skyrockets (before crashing back down to the bottom of the Mariana Trench).

Today for instance, this tall dark haired guy with a leather jacket and a motorcycle helmet came in with his friends, and when he had finished eating he put his helmet on, but stayed there talking. I thought it was odd, so I knocked on the helmet while I was walking by. When he looked up, I said “Do you always wear your helmet at Chinese buffets?” and he replied “Safety first!” as his friend said “He only wears it to show off around cute hostesses.” Later, they all came to the front of the restaurant, and he tried to pay at the hostess stand, but I just smiled and pointed to the register until he said “Oh, whoops!” after which his friend said “He just wanted an excuse to talk to you again.” so I just laughed it off and said “It happens.”
After he paid, though, he really did come up to me and ask my name. He introduced himself as Shawn, and asked “When are you working again?” and when I told him Thursday, he responded with “Good. I’ll see you then.” Then he put on his helmet, winked at me, and walked out like a bad ass. (Then his friend came up, said “We all know he doesn’t have a chance with you. I, on the other hand, am Kyle.” and then followed Shawn out.)

I mean, that will boost any girl’s confidence. I’m not interested, and next time he comes in I’m going to tell him I’m taken, but Shawn (and Kyle) really did make me feel better about myself today, because there aren’t many other times in my day-to-day life that make me feel like I’m actually worthy of being wanted.

  1. heathenliving posted this